Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Cultivating Well-Being

This is the first out of a series of posts about well-being. I'm excited to be posting these every Tuesday of July!! 

It's all about how to develop strength of mind and understanding the power of changing our thoughts and therefore our attitude. Also, altruism as a win-win situation will be included for good measure.

These are core values that I wish I can pass on to my boys. It is something you work at every day. It's training yourself to see the good in the bad, appreciating your present moment and directing your thoughts toward the kind of thinking that actually will benefit you. Positive thinking being the road to well-being and resilience

Well-being, not in the sense of momentary, euphoric happiness. Happiness as a way of being, compatible with sad moments that are a part of life. Well-being implies balance, wisdom, gratitude and deep serenity.

Matthieu Ricardwho has a blog (surprise!) said,

"Well being is not just a mere pleasurable sensation. It is a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment. A state that pervades and endures all the emotional states and all the sorrows that can come ones way."

This is a skill that can be acquired. I, for one, need to refresh these concepts from time to time, and firmly believe that incorporating them can shift our outlook on events which eventually changes our attitude for the better.

Ricard's view of happiness is beautifully described as a way of being. A cluster of qualities, such as altruism, love and kindness, but also inner freedom from negative thoughts, getting rid of a rumination of fear. He makes a clear distinction between pleasure and happiness. Pleasure can contribute to happiness but it can also undermine happiness if it's mixed with cravings and thirst. So, well-being is a state of the self that doesn't depend on pleasure to exist. It certainly can take advantage of it but doesn't depend on it.

Alfred Adler said, 

"Regardless of their childhood experiences, people possess the power to transform their lives, their mental health, and their overall well-being.

This I think is great news for us. For moms, as well as for sons and daughters. Your mind can change the way you experience things. So, your mind has the power to transform a bad situation into something better.  

How valuable it is to know that we have the power to determine what meaning we will assign to a specific event. 

Moms usually feel under a huge pressure to constantly avoid making mistakes with their children. This is frankly impossible. Note to self and moms in the same situation: stop doing that! We will make mistakes, it's part of our human condition. I can only hope I can teach my kids to be able to take these mistakes and turn them into personal growth experiences.

Thoughts? Let me know in the comments!

Cultivating Well Being #2 (5 Basic Ideas to Pursue)

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