Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Parenting Styles: A Mother Refuses to Be Classified...

Aha..the parenting styles...

Back when I was getting my Master degree in Professional Counseling there was one concept teachers would consistently try to instill upon us. To suspend judgement when working with a client. This is one of the main reasons I was first interested in Counseling as a career. You create a safe place, a refuge, if you will, where people are accepted as they are, with all their flaws included. Counselors listen, do not judge, and simply find the best way to help.

Last week, while attempting to declutter my books, I found a few by Alfred Adler who was one of my favorite psychologists during my studying years at the University. I browsed and read about the democratic style of parenting and its advantages. Then, did some research online, and found a few more parenting styles and its consequences on children. At this point I remembered that when I studied this I was childless and felt pretty confident that I would be the best parent I could possibly be, once the time arrived.

This is me, back then.

Well...when you have a child things change. You realize that you may have earned the Nobel Prize, have won a parent of the year award, or maybe you are the number one psychologist in the world, only to find out that being a parent is the hardest thing you'll ever do and no background in psychology or counseling could possibly prevent you from making mistakes!

Although an inclination towards a certain parenting style contributes to a specific impact on a child's personality and behavior, sometimes people raised in completely different families with completely different parenting styles can have similar personalities. Also, same parenting style can produce very different individuals. 

My point here is, you never truly know until you have every piece of information necessary. Many times we can fit into different parenting styles, depending on the circumstances. As a mom, my style should be categorized as "I do the best I can under different and specific circumstances". Don't we all try to do our best?

Parenting styles advice can be found all over the internet but you need more than that to appreciate nonjudgmentally a parent's behavior and the possible outcome on their children. This information should be used as a great resource, a very helpful guideline. Not a source of self-doubt and preoccupation.

Being a parent is complex enough to be carrying around this baggage all by ourselves. 

Parenting styles aside, don't you think parents do what they can? We have a lot of pressure from the media giving information we should know and apply. Do this but not this, oh! and never, ever do this! 

Well, you know? Sometimes this is all I can possibly do. One thing is for sure, I attempt to do my best every time! 

What do you think?

P.S. Happy mom and An Old School Trick to give parents a break from school homework

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