Tuesday, September 15, 2015

My Beauty Dilemma

A few years ago, I had a conversation with a friend about beauty and self care that, for a while, changed the way I saw beauty.

My kids were babies back then, and I felt like I didn't have enough time available to assign to the "beauty department". I wish I did though, but I didn't. If you are a mom, you know exactly what I mean, if not, let me just say that I considered myself lucky whenever I was able to take a shower!

That day, I told my friend that I needed to go to the hair salon, get a manicure, pay more attention to my wardrobe and the way I dressed. Her reply stuck with me through the years. She said: "Yeah, I used to be frivolous and shallow before too. I'm not anymore."

I didn't answer back but thought about it for a long, long time. I didn't like, at all, what she had said, she actually hurt my feelings! I was bruised! A friend is supposed to encourage you, help you, be there for you, right? 

I had never thought of beauty and beauty related things as simple frivolous stuff. I associated the concept more to self care and having a good time while doing so. I had always enjoyed it because it made such a positive effect on how I felt. I considered it more like a fun thing to do, an outlet that helped me relax and simply have fun. Yes, a fun thing to do, that's what it was. And like many other fun activities, its effect exceeds the person having fun. What I mean is, doing things you enjoy has a positive impact on people around you. It's the typical happy mom, happy family kind of thing.

So, for a while, may be a few years, I was a victim of this cold comment, not making a point of doing my nails or applying make up. Only to find my friend perfectly polished and "blow dried" every time I bumped into her! One word kept coming to my mind: hypocrite!  

But then I thought, how did I let her get to me with that silly comment? Why did I give it, or her, for that matter, so much relevance? How did I change so much? I used to love getting a few new clothes here and there, or even applying basic make up every day!

After giving it a lot of thought, a few books read, and some research made, I saw that beauty is sometimes viewed as the inconsequential thing to do, the unimportant thing in life. Beauty is sometimes left to the superficial girl. The girl that doesn't care about the real world. Catastrophes, wars, world hunger, scientific research, all that is assigned to the hard working woman and men that deal with real problems.

Well, it turns out it doesn't have to be an either-or kind of thing. You can find the cure for cancer, achieve world peace, or even find a way to end world hunger, and still enjoy getting manicures or reading a fashion magazine while having your hair blow dried, don't you think?

Have you ever had a similar dilemma?

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