Monday, December 24, 2018

Happy Holidays!

How are you spending your Holidays? 

I'm going away during the Holidays! So I will be more active on Instagram and on YouTube with a couple of live video surprises over there. 

I still can't believe I'm travelling to another continent again this year. Hint hint, surprise, surprise! muahahaha!

But for now please find below a short new video (in English and in Spanish!) where I explain why no contact is necessary for people that are recovering from Narcissistic Abuse.

The blog will resume to its normal weekly schedule when I come back home by mid January. But feel free to explore it while I'm out! :D

In other news, if you haven't already read Hygge The Danish Way To Live Well, and you are a coziness enthusiast, as I am, I completely recommend you getting this book! What a treat! 

Warm wishes for this Holiday Season. May you find your true talents in the upcoming year and if you have already found them, may you invest time and energy to share them with the world. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!


Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Psychotherapists: Please Stop Assuming Victims of Emotional Abuse are Codependent

I never thought I'd be standing, and smiling, beside a sign that says "Zero Love" But believe me, life makes sure you learn what you are here to learn. And then you smile...

The pic above corresponds to the day I attended Amor Zero workshop. About two weeks ago. Amor Zero - which means Zero Love - is a book that provides tools for surviving romantic relationships with psychopaths. 

I was actually very happy that day (hence the grin on my face, ha!) because it was such an interesting conference. 

The author of the book, Dr. Iñaki Piñuel, clearly has a vast experience treating and studying victims of emotional abuse, and makes sure you leave the room with, at least, two very clear ideas.

1) It wasn't love.
2) Run. "If you meet a psychopath, run" -Hare. Psychopaths don't get better with therapy and if you stay in such a relationship you will loose yourself and your identity while doing so.

What really bothers the author of the book is when people automatically diagnose the victim as a codependent, and I couldn't agree more. Victims of emotional abuse don't need to be re victimized by the therapist. They need to realize they have been abused, manipulated, and hurt by people that are highly skilled in doing so. Why? because they didn't know the signs that let you know you are dealing with a psychopath. 

This is one of the main reasons why I want to share this book with the English speaking community. 

I explain Dr. Piñuel's view of the victim of emotional abuse in this video, and I recommend you reading the book if you are interested in learning about psychopathy and malignant narcissism.

Thank you for watching and reading!

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Beautiful (and quiet?) Buenos Aires

Last Saturday I attended a conference in the heart of the city of Buenos Aires, a few blocks away from the Obelisco, and I can safely say I'm back in love with my city.

What usually puts me off about downtown is that it's excessively busy. 

However, this conference, which of course I'll tell you all about in an upcoming blog post, was held on a Saturday, and since Argentina is a Catholic country, December 8 is a Holiday: day of the Immaculate Conception. I'd never seen Buenos Aires City so quiet!

I still can't believe there weren't any cars in these pics! 

Anyways...I just wanted to report that Buenos Aires is looking especially nice these days in case you ever want to venture into visiting these southern lands.

Have a great week!


Thursday, November 29, 2018

Covert vs Overt Narcissism

"It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do." Jane Austen 

What covert narcissists say almost never match up with their actions. Looking at people's actions can help you discern whether or not you are dealing with a toxic person. 

Having said that, covert narcissists can give the illusion of helpers, "good Samaritans", you get the idea, so be knowledgeable of wolves in sheep clothing. 

There's this preconception that a narcissist is a vane person who likes to look in the mirror a lot, and only loves him or herself. 

With that in mind I filmed today's video.

The diagnostic criteria for narcissism includes nine traits so it's more complex than "them loving themselves too much". Mental health professionals use the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a guide for diagnoses. I've talked more in detail before here if you are interested. 

Today I wanted to specifically share what it feels like to be in contact with a covert narcissist, and what signs you can look for in order to put theory into practice.  

If you are going to take anything from the video take this: honor how you feel during the interaction with these personalities. If you find yourself justifying their behavior a lot, you are probably dealing with a toxic person. 

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Custom Made Jealousy: Narcissistic Triangulation

What happens when you aren't usually a jealous person but suddenly you feel as if you've turned into a spy?

Narcissistic triangulation can be fabricated by the highly psychopathic or narcissistic person in different ways and always involves other people. 

I covered one of the dynamics in the Flying Monkeys video where other people are literally used to accuse you of made up things, ideas, behaviors, and so on. 

The other way narcissists triangulate happens within a romantic relationship and it's the one I explain in today's video. 

It's a "custom made" scene for you to feel dependent, jealous, and less than, sinking you deeper into the cycle of abuse, invaded by self doubt, confusion and cognitive dissonance.

Distance yourself from this. There's nothing to be explained, understood or put up with. Regain your sanity. Don't engage.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Why All That Drama?

In today's video I tell you how I view the drama that surrounds toxic people and why I think they create it.

In short:

  1. That's how they get you to react.
  2. When you react emotionally, they get Narcissistic Supply from you.
  3. Schadenfreude: which means - believe it or not - taking joy in other peoples' suffering or misfortune.

I also explain the best ways to deal with it and a bit about no contact and co-parenting.

See you soon!

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Do Narcissists Apologize? / Narcissism Series

When we apologize we acknowledge and regret what we’ve done wrong, we feel empathy for the other person. We acknowledge the damage and then want to make things right, take actions to accept what we did wrong while taking full responsibility, and act accordingly.

The toxic or covert-aggressive personalities either never apologize or, they do, but it's completely fake.

They can apologize, they actually do apologize in many cases. But it's usually followed by blame shifting and/or a justification for what they did.

Pay close attention to their actions after the fake apology (it really feels fake) Nothing will change and you may end up feeling guilty for something that they did! Crazy, I know!

They may say "I'm sorry" but there won't be true repentance, they will simply justify their bad behavior with more excuses. 

Very common scripts are: 

"Yes I did this but you made me do it in a way"

"If you hadn’t done this or that I wouldn’t have done it" 

"had to do it because this and that..."

Narcissists can apologize, but it’s fake. It’s an empty apology. There’s no heartfelt regret, no feelings of guilt, no feelings attached to the apology.

When you realize that the ACTIONS don’t match up with the WORDS, you are long gone into the relationship. Why? Because if you are within a range of normalcy, It would never cross your mind that a person can be so fake and prioritize their agenda over another human beings feelings.

So yes. They do apologize. But it’s fake. You’ll see it, you’ll feel it. 

Empty words, maybe followed by a covert-aggressive comment, or an excuse for what they did, or why not, maybe even a blaming game that ends on you.

Random fact alert: In today's video I try to remember the name of the character played by Keanu Reeves' on the movie The Matrix. Have you watched it?

Friday, November 2, 2018

Essential Oils & the Brain

I started using essential oils a a few years ago when I discovered that adding a few drops of lavender to my kids' bathtub before bed, was conducent to a better night sleep. I added the essential oils to  this foaming bath, which I completely recommend, and makes you feel like you are immersed in pure lavender!

Last year a neurologist, expert on narcissistic abuse trauma, mentioned that essential oils were good for the brain and were a great resource accessible to everybody. So, I got a diffusser and started using it.

Apparently, the molecules of essential oils travel through your nose directly to your lymbic system and the hypothalamus. To put it very simply (which is all I know!) when a molecule of certain oils like Frankincense arrive at the lymbic system your brain can increase oxygen levels to up to 28 percent. More oxygen equals improved cognitive functions and a better release of emotions, which results in a better physiological and emotional state.

The study that brought these results showed that diffusing essential oils like myrrh, vetiver, and Frankincense, among others, can have a beneficial effect on your brain.

Of course, always do your own research first, and don't apply them directly on your skin to prevent allergies. Be especially careful and ask your doctor if there are kids in the room when you are diffusing an essential oil. 

Lavender is calming, rose connects you with the feminine, and bergamot is uplifting and calming at the same time. Each essential oil has a specific property, plus they just make your home, or office smell so nice.

Here's today's video! Happy weekend!.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Psychology 101: Freud

A few videos back I asked if anybody was interested in learning more about Freud's theory of the unconscious and the Id, Ego, and Superego.

I received a few comments graciously asking for more, so I made this video with a lot of pictures and graphics and visuals in order to aid my accent and my lack of expertise in psychoanalysis so that I could briefly explain nothing less than Freud's studies on the unconscious and personality structure. 

I hope you enjoy it!

Friday, October 26, 2018

Create Joyful Rituals For Selfcare & Wellbeing

What are some of your daily rituals?

Mine is a quiet breakfast...

Rituals are behaviors that are performed after or before a special event. This action has meaning attached to it. When we do them we expect a certain outcome. And you know what? Research proved that people that engaged in rituals obtained the results they were expecting.

More on that in today's video.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

How To Deal With The Inner Critic

The Inner Critic is that voice that, when it works for us, it helps us make choices that contribute to our well-being. However it can be very harmful when it engages in excessive negative self-talk. Definitely unhealthy and debilitating.

The inner critic is similar to Freud's Superego and Jung's negative animus. Those too can beat us up with feelings of guilt, worthlessness and inadequacy, if we let them...

There are some effective ways of dealing with the "inflamed" inner critic. But for now I'm going to tell you about my favorite. 

1) Become aware of why you are feeling guilty, sad, or inadequate. 

2) Try to identify the voice of the inner critic. Meditation work is great to become a master at this.

3) Think of yourself as your best friend. Would you be so hard on on a friend? I'm sure the answer is no. We would never say that to them. We wouldn't even think in that way. We are often compassionate and loving with them. So? Then replace the negative self-talk with gentler affirmations, the nicer the better.

A warning. This isn't easy to do. But with practice, and awareness you'll get there. 

In this video I talk a little bit about the Id the Ego and the Superego and a little bit about the inner critic. 

Friday, October 19, 2018

What's the Thinking Behind Setting Boundaries?

Setting boundaries is a life long process. In my case at least, the older I am, the better I get at honoring how I feel about other people's requests, needs and wants. One thing that comes with age is wisdom, and that compensates for all the other things that are usually not so well received.

What I know about boundaries is that:

1) It's not easy to set them at first. But it gets easier with practice. 

2) We go through a short lived uneasiness when we say NO

3) That uneasiness is so worth it. In exchange you get: a strong sense of self-love which boosts your self esteem.

4) If you do set them, you will find that people that don't respect your boundaries are not worth having around.

5) Those who don't respect your boundaries are usually the toxic bunch.

Find today's video here.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Two Ways To Deal With Toxic People

Dealing with the passive aggressive requires ninja-like abilities. Here are two ways to handle these kinds of situations. 

Grey Rock Technique: Cluster B personalities feed off of drama and emotional reactions. This technique is the one where you become as dull and boring as possible while trying to show no emotional reaction and zero interest. We want monotone and short answers in these scenarios!

Responding vs Reacting: Is based on the same idea as the Grey Rock Technique. Respond, don't reactIt's more of a mantra to follow when dealing with toxic people. You want to answer the accusation disguised as a question or remark, especially if you are dealing with your boss for example, but limit yourself to one short answer. The purpose is to avoid becoming entangled in the accusations and lies. Again, try to put your feelings aside.

These two tactics are very effective ways of avoiding being re traumatized.

 However, after the encounter is over, find a way to vent your true feelings. Maybe hit the gym. Go for a walk or call a trustworthy good friend. The idea is to express yourself, just not with the toxic person.

In today's video I bring some reality and humanity to these otherwise seemingly perfect techniques. 

Don't get me wrong I think that these tools are great, and that you should go for them whenever you can. 

I'm simply giving you a heads up to let you know that if you are unable to become a rock every time, I hear you! We are humans after all. Not rocks. So the occasional slip is just bound to happen, especially at the beginning.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Don't Be Afraid Of Sadness

In our culture, sadness is often looked at with caution and fear. We definitely try not dwell in it. 

"Don't cry" is what we are programmed to say when we see somebody in pain.

Sometimes we even go to the extent of turning into skilled acrobats to avoid our own sadness: "must avoid it at any cost" Food? Shopping? Alcohol? 

Addictions and obsessions are usually the downside of not dealing with sadness and trying to understand why we feel sad.

Sadness is definitely not fun, and it's also painful. But so necessary.

If you want to truly heal, evolve, and grow; then, you need to go through sadness, and feel the feels! 

There's a reason why we feel like we feel. Sadness forces us to pay attention to what matters to us, and see what is bothering or hurting us. 

In today's video I talk about sadness and healing. 

Have you watched Inside Out? What a great movie to watch with kids!

Friday, October 5, 2018

How To Meditate. Meditation For Beginners.

About three years ago I started researching mindfulness and the science behind it. As a counselor I see a lot of benefits that come from it, and I even use it in my private practice.

Having said that, I don't consider myself an expert in the meditation arena. I go back to it whenever I need to re center but I wish I'd do it more often.

In today's video I explain how I meditate and I give you a few resources which will be linked in the info box below the video. There's a specific video at google headquarters that gave me, at the time, the final push I needed to start meditating. If you are interested in meditating I strongly recommend you watching the master of masters, Matthieu Ricard, conduct a meditation and guide you through the reasoning.

How I meditate:

1. Find a quiet place and sit comfortably. Doesn't have to be under a Cherry Blossom tree in full bloom - to paraphrase Ricard, only he mentioned a "mango tree" which sounds so yummy oh well...- It can be in your kitchen, or even at the train station (sometimes the busiest places are where we actually need to practice our meditation and calming skills the most) 

2. Breathe in, long breath out.

3. If a thought pops up, see it, look at it, and try to let it go.

4. Go back to your breath, focus on your breath.

That's the basics. If you are interested in the whys and more hows, and why we need to add love and kindness to the meditation, check out today's Fill Your Cup Friday video. 

You've got this!

Friday, September 28, 2018

Why Is Mindfulness So Powerful?

*Photo Credit: my 14 year old son :D

Why do we need to practice being in the now? Right where you are. What benefits can we obtain from meditation? 

Neurological research on mindfulness, the practice of being in the present moment, shows many advantages to our health: a stronger immune system, better sleep, and a decrease in stress and cortisol levels in the brain. 

Negative cognitions and emotions, such as shame, shut down the brain. On the other hand, meditating on love and kindness physically changes the brain, sculpting and strengthening our neural pathways. 

Our brain flourishes on repeated good thoughts. Isn't this amazing?  

In today's video I try to remind myself why I need to meditate more, and keep doing yoga periodically, by sharing with you the benefits of being more mindful.

Breathe in... long breath out... you are already good at this! 

P.S. A Guided Breathing Meditation

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

What is Narcissistic Hoovering?

What is hoovering?

It's when the narcissist tries to suck you back into the relationship or into being available for them to obtain narcissistic supply.

It can happen in different ways. And it can look very different as well. Praise, flattery, a sudden crisis? Or maybe they are just criticizing you out of the blue. Whatever the excuse, it has only one goal. To engage you in the cycle of abuse yet again.

What does it feel like to be hoovered by a narcissist or a psychopath?

In today's video I compare it with a shark that is lurking an unaware happy go lucky swimmer. 

Oh, yes. It's weird.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Sleep & The Circadian Rhythm. Fill Your Cup Friday.

How many hours do you usually sleep? I'm a 6 to 7 hours of sleep kinda girl. 

I remember, growing up, I could never sleep more than 9 hours, 10 very rarely. And then when I became a mom something switched inside my brain. The thought of having an amazingly cute and tiny human being that depends on you for its sustenance made me remain so much more alert during the night.   

I still have that muscle even though my youngest is 12 and he definitely doesn't need me during the night! But still... The alertness is there. One of the many mom muscles that we didn't know we had, I suppose. 

What are the Recommended Hours of Sleep?

Younger Kids 9-11

Teenagers 8-10
Adults 7-9

 What is the Circadian Cycle of Wakefulness and Sleep?

It's your body's internal rhythm that helps determine when you fall asleep and when you wake up. This internal clock controls biological patterns, blood pressure, the release of hormones, and even body temperature.

In today's video I talk a bit more about this and three other components of sleep that have a lot to do with the science of sleep, along with a few natural remedies I tend to gravitate to. 

I'm curious to know, what are your tricks for a good night sleep? 

Thursday, September 20, 2018

The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

Why is it so important to be aware of this cycle? Especially if you haven't bumped into a highly narcissistic person in your life? I think awareness and knowledge never hurt, if you ask me. 

Plus, Narcissist Personality Disordered people are one of the least diagnosed populations. They either don't go to therapy or if they do (usually the partner sends them) they are very likely to manipulate an unskilled mental health practitioner. This is why the possibilities of running into one during the course of our lifetime are pretty high. So, being better equipped to identify abusive behaviors can save us years of therapy.   

In today's video I go into the details of the cycle of abuse when it comes to psychopaths and narcissists.  

The Stages:

These happen over and over again without end, or until the final discard. However, it can continue after a separation or a divorce. This is why no contact is necessary. 

  • Idealization
At the beginning of the relationship. The narcissistic person idealizes the partner and "love bombs" him or her. Targets believe to have found a very kind, caring, warm kind of person, or everything they have always expected.

  • Devaluing
This is the stage where the target has not agreed to comply in some way with the narcissist, or has set up a boundary, and so as a result of a narcissistic injury, the abuser starts devaluing the target. A lot of gaslighting, cheating, lying, and manipulation occur here. Covert abuse is everywhere at this stage.

  • Discard
The highly narcissistic person discards the victim. This is the phase where the abuse appears to be more overt and obvious. Silent treatment (ignoring the target), and many other attacks towards the victim occur here, together with all the manipulative behaviors mentioned in the previous phase. If the victim is lucky, the abuser discards him or her abruptly. The behavior is not withing the  range of "normalcy" and so the victim feels completely confused and full of self doubt, guilt, sadness, and stress. 

Friday, September 14, 2018

Benefits of Walking. Fill Your Cup Friday.

Find today's video here.                                                                

I love to go for walks. I feel like it’s a mild exercise that clears my mind and gives me a chance to listen to podcasts. I always feel better after a good walk in nature, ideally, and if not, just around my neighborhood. However I felt I wasn’t committed to walking periodically until the other day, my lifelong friend told me she goes for a walk daily, right after she drops the kids at school. And so I felt inspired by her commitment to walk more regularly.  

Now, let me tell you, I’m not going for walks absolutely every day. I have a problem with commitment to working out. But I must say I’m doing pretty good.

So I hope I can inspire you to do the same, especially if you are recovering from narcissistic abuse! Do it! In nature if possible, if nature is not easy to access, any extra step that you can add counts. It's all good when it comes to walking!

What are the Benefits of Walking?

1) Your Mood Improves

It’s what I would prescribe for clients fighting signs of depression, recovering from narcissistic abuse, or even when it comes to winter blues. Research shows that regular walking modifies your nervous system and reduces anger and hostility. Plus you get some Vitamin D from the sun.  

2) It Boosts Your Creativity.

Feel stuck? go for a walk.

3) Great for the Heart and Chronic Disease.

4) You Tend to Reach For Healthier Foods When You Get Into a Routine.

5) Your Jeans Fit Better!

A Harvard Study:

"1. It counteracts the effects of weight-promoting genes. Harvard researchers looked at 32 obesity-promoting genes in over 12,000 people to determine how much these genes actually contribute to body weight. They then discovered that, among the study participants who walked briskly for about an hour a day, the effects of those genes were cut in half.
2. It helps tame a sweet tooth. A pair of studies from the University of Exeter found that a 15-minute walk can curb cravings for chocolate and even reduce the amount of chocolate you eat in stressful situations. And the latest research confirms that walking can reduce cravings and intake of a variety of sugary snacks.
3. It reduces the risk of developing breast cancer. Researchers already know that any kind of physical activity blunts the risk of breast cancer. But an American Cancer Society study that zeroed in on walking found that women who walked seven or more hours a week had a 14% lower risk of breast cancer than those who walked three hours or fewer per week. And walking provided this protection even for the women with breast cancer risk factors, such as being overweight or using supplemental hormones.
4. It eases joint pain. Several studies have found that walking reduces arthritis-related pain, and that walking five to six miles a week can even prevent arthritis from forming in the first place. Walking protects the joints — especially the knees and hips, which are most susceptible to osteoarthritis — by lubricating them and strengthening the muscles that support them.
5. It boosts immune function. Walking can help protect you during cold and flu season. A study of over 1,000 men and women found that those who walked at least 20 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week, had 43% fewer sick days than those who exercised once a week or less. And if they did get sick, it was for a shorter duration, and their symptoms were milder."

*Harvard Health Publishing

So next time you find yourself looking for the nearest parking space to the store, go wild and leave the car a little further away. Your body will thank you.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Fill Your Cup Friday

I'm starting a Fill Your Cup Friday series of videos today in which I will be giving tips, ideas, and things you can do to know yourself more, feel better in your own skin, and just feel good. These are also great ways to heal from bad experiences, recover your self worth, or just be a happier version of yourself.

In today's video I mentioned the MBTI test, and how it can help you know yourself more so that you can be more forgiving and understanding of why you do what you do. Why you are the way you are. Everybody is different and this 16 personality types test is a great way to know your unique self.

There are also a few other updates. Thank you! Have a great weekend.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

What is Covert Narcissism? Why do we need to know?

I wanted to specifically make a video about Covert Narcissism because it's the type of narcissism that is not obvious. The obvious one, overt type, would be the grandiose, flamboyant, highly narcissistic person who believes is better than the rest, and let's us know he or she is convinced about that. Easier to spot. 

However, the covert narcissist, in spite of sharing many of the qualities mentioned above (not flamboyant and flashy), is highly dangerous because it operates in a hidden manner. Back handed compliments, covert aggression, gaslighting, lies and manipulation abound when dealing with these people.  The thing is it's done pervasively over long periods of time and in a subtle, hidden (covert) way. So it's hard to realize you are dealing with one until the abuse is taking its toll.

Adults and children that stay in contact with family members that tick many of the boxes for a narcissism diagnosis develop serious health issues. It's like being on watch 24/7, like keeping your stress levels up all the time. Adult children of narcissistic parents live in a constant state of worry and guilt that destroys the immune system. Hormonal imbalance, anxiety, muscle pain, depression, insomnia, and irritable bowel syndrome, to name the most common.

By learning the signs we can be more aware, and by being aware we will have more power to spot them and be able to go no contact if possible, or set healthy boundaries.

Friday, August 31, 2018

The Unexpected Benefits of Gratitude

This week I had the chance to practice what I preach. I felt grateful and made a point of letting everybody know.

Did you know that feelings of gratitude lower your blood pressure, diminish anxiety, stress, and bring you to a state of joy?

Well, that's pretty much how I glided through this week when Nathalie The  Beauty Diva mentioned a video of mine in her monthly favorites. It's so cool to see how people make use of your content and actually put it into good use. Oh what a feeling! 

When I started to see my subscriber count on Youtube go up, that was the cherry on top. Now, don't think that my channel became huge or anything like that, but let's just say I have more friends compared to last week. Hooray! Have a look and join the team here if you haven't already! 

Youtube and blogging have been so rewarding to me. Not only as a creative outlet. I met so many amazing and kind people on line. I met this one in person!

Here's the happy feely video. Remember to use that muscle and be grateful for regular everyday things (a cup of tea, a beautiful tree, rain, a thunderstorm, or the sun) and prepare to see the immediate benefits in your mind, body, and soul!   

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Confessions of a Mental Health Professional Who Takes Selfies...

Have you ever taken a selfie in public? Were you self conscious, self aware, and maybe worried about what others would think? I have taken my fare share of selfies, and I did feel like that!

I even vlog in public for crying out loud. Ahh that's a tough one...turn your camera on, and all eyes will be instantly on you. At least that's what it feels like, that's how I (an introvert) feel. Even Zoella (the Queen of vlogging) admits to having a hard time filming in public!

I think that it all boils down to prejudice. People, especially older generations, tend to think that if you take a selfie, you must be "so full of yourself" basically you get the diagnosis in a matter of seconds: "Narcissist!" 

There are even renowned Mental Health professionals that firmly believe that Instagram is, at the least, not a good thing. I beg to differ.

I don't know if you know...but although I'm a Prof. Counselor, I have a background in Human Resources and Public Relations, and I think Instagram is a brilliant marketing tool. It can help you grow your business immensely if used smartly. You can even sell your products on Instagram. It's a genius app.

Instagram is also a great resource people use to connect with the world. I really really like it.  

I believe there's a misconception. It's not about the app. It's about the person that uses it. It's about balance. If someone struggles with self esteem related issues, or with highly narcissistic tendencies it'll show in every day life, at school, at work, at home, and on Instagram.

Nasa posts these impressive photos, Matthieu Riccard's (the Buddhist monk) does the same in his own way

Even the Police department at Reykjavik Iceland, one of my favorite accounts, owns an account on Instagram. Check it out if you haven't, I never thought a Police department could radiate joy!

I think that balance is key. Balance applied to everything we do is key. So why not apply it to Instagram and selfie taking?

I guess what I enjoy the most about Instagram is the mind opening factor, and that I have Insta friends that show me the world daily, and everything from the comfort of my own phone! 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018


"When you find no solution to a problem, it's probably not a problem to be solved, but rather a truth to be accepted"

Cognitive dissonance is the stress you go through when your beliefs are contradicted by new information. In the case of a relationship with a highly narcissistic person you will experience a lot of this stress when you start to understand what is really going on. You will be confronted with new evidence that completely destroys your core beliefs. This is not an easy process. It's even physically painful but I believe that the way to healing is by learning and educating yourself on Narcissism and Cluster B personality disorders, as well as taking advantage of other resources like therapy, talking to friends, or support groups.

Above all, be compassionate with yourself and take care!

You can watch the video here 

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

What are Flying Monkeys? Narcissism Series

First of all, a disclaimer for those of you that are not into Mental Health, I hear you, my next post is not going to be mental health related. It's going to be a vlog with beautiful pictures of one of the chicest neighborhoods in the city of Buenos Aires. Recoleta is usually referred to as "Little Paris", and you will know the reason why when you see it! Can't wait to show you!

But today we are talking about Flying Monkeys. The term is used to name the Narcissists enablers or minions. They are like a small army that buys into the lies they say and attack the victim. 

As if the abuse is not enough, the target of this kind of relationships has to deal and endure the accusations that come out of the blue, from unexpected people. 

More on that in today's video. See you soon!