Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Co-Parenting & Narcissism

The last video of my interview with Balance Psychologies was shorter and sweet. And with way better sound!

We talked about co parenting with highly narcissistic people and what things we can do to improve our children's quality of life. What works best for kids and how to deal with problems that may come up when co parenting with these individuals.

"A narcissistic parent won't allow the child to have their own autonomy" - Anoushka Marcin

Anoushka shared very useful concepts that are always welcome if you are co parenting with difficult personalities. I hope you have enjoyed these series.

Some key concepts to keep in mind  when co parenting with a highly narcissistic person are:

     1) Strive to keep good boundaries with the ex. (Takes practice don't panic)

     2) Lead by example. If you are doing your own work with self care, therapy, being healthy; this will impact positively on your kids.

     3) Make sure the children feel heard and "seen", validated. Problems will come up but keep your center and focus on guidance with love.

     4) Try to avoid taking the bait when the narcissist uses your children to manipulate you. Instead focus on your behavior. That is what children ultimately see and learn. 

P.S. Find these videos with subtitles in Spanish here.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Physical Health & Toxic Relationships

There's a variety of health issues that can appear as a consequence of enduring emotional abuse. Some are more manageable than others. 

The importance of leaving abusive relationships is a matter of life and death. Not only psychological but physical as well. This is why we encourage victims to leave these situations, go no contact or minimal contact if necessary, and start a self-care lifestyle.

In today's video, the second part of my interview with Anoushka Marcin at Balance Psychologies, you'll find tips on how to calm down your nervous system, and what to do about the inevitable consequences of dealing with abusive people.

First we talked about what common health problems that can come up after enduring chronic stress due to emotional abuse, and then we mention ways to counteract them, and get rid of this unhealthy toxicity.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Interviewing Balance Psychologies

My favorite part of the trip I made to the UK was meeting Anoushka Marcin in person. Besides her education in the area of psychology and personality disorders, -she is in the process of obtaining her PhD level certification-, to me she is a natural healer. 

There's just something unique about her. Anoushka's YouTube channel  grew exponentially in a year. To be honest, this rare and rapid growth is no surprise. She is genuinely kind, smart, and comes across as the type of person with whom you instantly want to be friends with. Warm and empowering at the same time. Plus ladies, very chic! (Don't tell her I said that)

In today's video I wanted to find out a bit more about her take on triggers, anxiety, codependency, and treatment for recovery in general. Stay tuned for parts II and III in the upcoming weeks. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did filming it, background-noise-edited-to-a-point-of-exhaustion, and all.

Happy weekend!

P.S. Check out her blog here. It's my favorite when it comes to Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Fill Your Cup From The UK

Hello! Happy weekend! 

As you may know, I'm already home now, but I'm updating you, in case you missed this live video I filmed in the UK about filling your cup.

I hope you take time to do just that this weekend.


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Would You Travel Alone?

I would and I did! I was 17 the first time I went to the US on my own. This time though I went to the UK and Spain.

As I sit comfortably at the airport waiting to board the plane that will take me back home I can honestly say I love traveling.

From the "What if I made a trip?" part to the going back home flight, I truly enjoy every bit of it. Actually one of my happy places is the airport. Yup, dreaded by many loved by few. I'm one of the lucky few! I absolutely enjoy the airport experience. I always want to arrive early so that I can relax, have a cup of coffee, and finally, la pièce de résistance: explore the duty free shop!

Today I savoured the “happy place” like never before. I left the hotel at 6 pm and although my flght leaves at 11:50 pm, I went straight to the airport. Ahh... those hours flew by. I'm about to board the plane any minute now. 

I've had enough time for perfume testing and chocolate buying. I also had a heavenly coffee + donut combo. 

But enough about my happy place. Let's talk about traveling solo.

Why Travel Alone?

1) It's liberating. 

You can literally do whatever you want. After all, there's only you there, so you better do that which only you feel like doing! Like visiting the Goop store in Notting Hill...

Literally, you can walk around Notting Hill streets all day long if you feel so inclined.

Or spend a whole afternoon learning how each and every painting came to be at the Museo del Prado in Madrid.

Or just listen to live street music 🎼in Barcelona's Gothic Neighborhood.

2) It's empowering. 

You are in charge of what, when, where, and how regarding absolutely every single event during that trip. Empowerment and responsibilities go hand in hand though, meaning there's nobody there to remind you of important check out times, flights and hotel reservations. Totally doable if you ask me. Just keep good track of those specific things and problem solved.

Did you arrive on a Kings Day in Barcelona and the taxi cannot reach your hotel because streets are closed and there's people everywhere watching the Parade? You walk baby...yes with all the luggage. 

But then again, keep in mind that on the plus side you can take the ultimate #ootd photo at Kensington Palace without potentially being frowned upon by fellow family members...

3) Adapt, learn, and evolve

Challenges, unforseen circumstances or last minute changes can happen. A great way to learn and improve. 

If you tend to be more of an extrovert you might feel a bit lonely at times but you can always hire a guided tour, meet fellow travelers and chat away. Regardless of where you go I'm pretty sure you'll find a wide array of tour modalities available.

4) No need to plan too much or follow a schedule. 

Just wake up, and ask yourself what you feel like doing that day over breakfast. "Yourself" can be very kind with you and will do whatever you prefer. 

Me: "I should go to Harrods".

Also me: "Definitely, Harrods it is!"

I didn't have to even make a point of it being decorated for Christmas or anything of the sort. 

5) Know thyself. 

You learn a lot about YOU while traveling solo. You discover what you really enjoy sans the kids, husband, significant others, etc.

Have you ever traveled alone?

P.S. This is me and myself in Barcelona talking about traveling alone and about my interview with Balance Psychologies. The Interview will be a three video series coming up next week on my YouTube channel! Please do subscribe so you don't miss this series. It's going to be awesome.