Why is it so important to be aware of this cycle? Especially if you haven't bumped into a highly narcissistic person in your life? I think awareness and knowledge never hurt, if you ask me.
Plus, Narcissist Personality Disordered people are one of the least diagnosed populations. They either don't go to therapy or if they do (usually the partner sends them) they are very likely to manipulate an unskilled mental health practitioner. This is why the possibilities of running into one during the course of our lifetime are pretty high. So, being better equipped to identify abusive behaviors can save us years of therapy.
In today's video I go into the details of the cycle of abuse when it comes to psychopaths and narcissists.
The Stages:
These happen over and over again without end, or until the final discard. However, it can continue after a separation or a divorce. This is why no contact is necessary.
Idealization
At the beginning of the relationship. The narcissistic person idealizes the partner and "love bombs" him or her. Targets believe to have found a very kind, caring, warm kind of person, or everything they have always expected.
Devaluing
This is the stage where the target has not agreed to comply in some way with the narcissist, or has set up a boundary, and so as a result of a narcissistic injury, the abuser starts devaluing the target. A lot of gaslighting, cheating, lying, and manipulation occur here. Covert abuse is everywhere at this stage.
Discard
The highly narcissistic person discards the victim. This is the phase where the abuse appears to be more overt and obvious. Silent treatment (ignoring the target), and many other attacks towards the victim occur here, together with all the manipulative behaviors mentioned in the previous phase. If the victim is lucky, the abuser discards him or her abruptly. The behavior is not withing the range of "normalcy" and so the victim feels completely confused and full of self doubt, guilt, sadness, and stress.
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