When it comes to emotionally abusive relationships, getting to understand that we actually are in one can be daunting.
Contrary to what most people would assume, the victim of narcissistic abuse, for example, has a hard time fully believing and accepting that the relationship they are in is toxic.
This is why I filmed these videos. English & Spanish. And I hope you can share them with people that might still be debating over whether their relationship is toxic or not.
I do my thing. You do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. You are not in this world to live up to mine. You are You. I am I.
If by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.
I lack love for myself when, in any attempt to please you, I betray myself.
I lack love for you when I try to make you be the way I want instead of accepting you the way you really are.
In therapy one of the most important things you can do is to learn to acknowledge and care for your inner child.
Jung's "eternal child", Freud's unconscious and the child within us, today's inner child is the force behind our actions, emotions, attractions, wants and needs.
Getting to know her means that you will start behaving more like you are parenting a real child. This includes an open communication, boundaries to yourself and to others, and providing structure while taking care of that inner child's needs in a way that will balance her creative energy, emotions, thirst for adventure and fun in life with healthy habits, responsibility, and maturity.
Experience is the best teacher. Sometimes it hurts but you just know that the lesson will be learned.
Brutal andeffective.
However, when you are young and indecisive about what path to take, good advice could potentially change your life for the better without having to go through the hurtful experience.
So here's my grain of sand.
When it comes to relationships, there's one concept that can guide you through decision making, and that's self-respect.
When in doubt go to self-respect.
Am I respecting myself by agreeing to certain decisions? Or by allowing certain behaviors? Am I respecting myself when I say yes when I really really really want to say no?
Self-respect means that you put yourself in the picture. Your wants and needs are very important and have to be heard. It also means that when your emotional needs aren't being taken into consideration, through action and true change, you have a right to start thinking about walking away. In fact, I hope you do so.
Bare with me while I present you with four videos! Two in English and two in Spanish. Spanish here & here. English here & here.
The main take from these videos is self-respect, stemming from self-esteem, self-love, and self worth. I hope you can, not only watch them, but take what YOU need from them.
