Saturday, January 19, 2019

Interviewing Balance Psychologies




My favorite part of the trip I made to the UK was meeting Anoushka Marcin in person. Besides her education in the area of psychology and personality disorders, -she is in the process of obtaining her PhD level certification-, to me she is a natural healer. 

There's just something unique about her. Anoushka's YouTube channel  grew exponentially in a year. To be honest, this rare and rapid growth is no surprise. She is genuinely kind, smart, and comes across as the type of person with whom you instantly want to be friends with. Warm and empowering at the same time. Plus ladies, very chic! (Don't tell her I said that)

In today's video I wanted to find out a bit more about her take on triggers, anxiety, codependency, and treatment for recovery in general. Stay tuned for parts II and III in the upcoming weeks. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did filming it, background-noise-edited-to-a-point-of-exhaustion, and all.

Happy weekend!





P.S. Check out her blog here. It's my favorite when it comes to Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Fill Your Cup From The UK


Hello! Happy weekend! 

As you may know, I'm already home now, but I'm updating you, in case you missed this live video I filmed in the UK about filling your cup.

I hope you take time to do just that this weekend.


Alina


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Would You Travel Alone?






I would and I did! I was 17 the first time I went to the US on my own. This time though I went to the UK and Spain.

As I sit comfortably at the airport waiting to board the plane that will take me back home I can honestly say I love traveling.

From the "What if I made a trip?" part to the going back home flight, I truly enjoy every bit of it. Actually one of my happy places is the airport. Yup, dreaded by many loved by few. I'm one of the lucky few! I absolutely enjoy the airport experience. I always want to arrive early so that I can relax, have a cup of coffee, and finally, la pièce de résistance: explore the duty free shop!

Today I savoured the “happy place” like never before. I left the hotel at 6 pm and although my flght leaves at 11:50 pm, I went straight to the airport. Ahh... those hours flew by. I'm about to board the plane any minute now. 

I've had enough time for perfume testing and chocolate buying. I also had a heavenly coffee + donut combo. 




But enough about my happy place. Let's talk about traveling solo.

Why Travel Alone?


1) It's liberating. 

You can literally do whatever you want. After all, there's only you there, so you better do that which only you feel like doing! Like visiting the Goop store in Notting Hill...

Literally, you can walk around Notting Hill streets all day long if you feel so inclined.









Or spend a whole afternoon learning how each and every painting came to be at the Museo del Prado in Madrid.



Or just listen to live street music 🎼in Barcelona's Gothic Neighborhood.





2) It's empowering. 

You are in charge of what, when, where, and how regarding absolutely every single event during that trip. Empowerment and responsibilities go hand in hand though, meaning there's nobody there to remind you of important check out times, flights and hotel reservations. Totally doable if you ask me. Just keep good track of those specific things and problem solved.

Did you arrive on a Kings Day in Barcelona and the taxi cannot reach your hotel because streets are closed and there's people everywhere watching the Parade? You walk baby...yes with all the luggage. 



But then again, keep in mind that on the plus side you can take the ultimate #ootd photo at Kensington Palace without potentially being frowned upon by fellow family members...




3) Adapt, learn, and evolve

Challenges, unforseen circumstances or last minute changes can happen. A great way to learn and improve. 

If you tend to be more of an extrovert you might feel a bit lonely at times but you can always hire a guided tour, meet fellow travelers and chat away. Regardless of where you go I'm pretty sure you'll find a wide array of tour modalities available.

4) No need to plan too much or follow a schedule. 

Just wake up, and ask yourself what you feel like doing that day over breakfast. "Yourself" can be very kind with you and will do whatever you prefer. 

Me: "I should go to Harrods".

Also me: "Definitely, Harrods it is!"

I didn't have to even make a point of it being decorated for Christmas or anything of the sort. 



5) Know thyself. 

You learn a lot about YOU while traveling solo. You discover what you really enjoy sans the kids, husband, significant others, etc.

Have you ever traveled alone?

P.S. This is me and myself in Barcelona talking about traveling alone and about my interview with Balance Psychologies. The Interview will be a three video series coming up next week on my YouTube channel! Please do subscribe so you don't miss this series. It's going to be awesome.







Monday, December 24, 2018

Happy Holidays!






















How are you spending your Holidays? 

I'm going away during the Holidays! So I will be more active on Instagram and on YouTube with a couple of live video surprises over there. 

I still can't believe I'm travelling to another continent again this year. Hint hint, surprise, surprise! muahahaha!

But for now please find below a short new video (in English and in Spanish!) where I explain why no contact is necessary for people that are recovering from Narcissistic Abuse.

The blog will resume to its normal weekly schedule when I come back home by mid January. But feel free to explore it while I'm out! :D

In other news, if you haven't already read Hygge The Danish Way To Live Well, and you are a coziness enthusiast, as I am, I completely recommend you getting this book! What a treat! 

Warm wishes for this Holiday Season. May you find your true talents in the upcoming year and if you have already found them, may you invest time and energy to share them with the world. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Alina 



Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Psychotherapists: Please Stop Assuming Victims of Emotional Abuse are Codependent


I never thought I'd be standing, and smiling, beside a sign that says "Zero Love" But believe me, life makes sure you learn what you are here to learn. And then you smile...

The pic above corresponds to the day I attended Amor Zero workshop. About two weeks ago. Amor Zero - which means Zero Love - is a book that provides tools for surviving romantic relationships with psychopaths. 

I was actually very happy that day (hence the grin on my face, ha!) because it was such an interesting conference. 

The author of the book, Dr. Iñaki Piñuel, clearly has a vast experience treating and studying victims of emotional abuse, and makes sure you leave the room with, at least, two very clear ideas.

1) It wasn't love.
2) Run. "If you meet a psychopath, run" -Hare. Psychopaths don't get better with therapy and if you stay in such a relationship you will loose yourself and your identity while doing so.

What really bothers the author of the book is when people automatically diagnose the victim as a codependent, and I couldn't agree more. Victims of emotional abuse don't need to be re victimized by the therapist. They need to realize they have been abused, manipulated, and hurt by people that are highly skilled in doing so. Why? because they didn't know the signs that let you know you are dealing with a psychopath. 

This is one of the main reasons why I want to share this book with the English speaking community. 

I explain Dr. Piñuel's view of the victim of emotional abuse in this video, and I recommend you reading the book if you are interested in learning about psychopathy and malignant narcissism.

Thank you for watching and reading!



Saturday, December 15, 2018

How Often Do You Change Your Hairstyle?





Ever since I was a child I'd spend weeks, sometimes even months, planning my next hair cut. I remember, as a teenager, saving cutout photos from magazines so that I could show them to my hairdresser. Way before Pinterest!  

I'd drive my parents and brother absolutely crazy showing them different styles for weeks on end. Poor souls... 

I've always loved changing my hairstyle, not the color, just the cut. Exhibit A, exhibit B.

I think that this passion for haircuts has never really left me. It's just another way of having fun if you ask me. I believe that everything beauty and style related definitely counts as self-care! Don't you think?

So yeah. New hair. New Video. Same old me though...

I'm curious to know. Are you the type of person that keeps the same haircut for life? I have a friend like that. Or are you a chronic hairstyle changer like me?

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Beautiful (and quiet?) Buenos Aires


Last Saturday I attended a conference in the heart of the city of Buenos Aires, a few blocks away from the Obelisco, and I can safely say I'm back in love with my city.

What usually puts me off about downtown is that it's excessively busy. 

However, this conference, which of course I'll tell you all about in an upcoming blog post, was held on a Saturday, and since Argentina is a Catholic country, December 8 is a Holiday: day of the Immaculate Conception. I'd never seen Buenos Aires City so quiet!




I still can't believe there weren't any cars in these pics! 




































Anyways...I just wanted to report that Buenos Aires is looking especially nice these days in case you ever want to venture into visiting these southern lands.

Have a great week!


Alina




Thursday, November 29, 2018

Covert vs Overt Narcissism

"It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do." Jane Austen 

What covert narcissists say almost never match up with their actions. Looking at people's actions can help you discern whether or not you are dealing with a toxic person. 

Having said that, covert narcissists can give the illusion of helpers, "good Samaritans", you get the idea, so be knowledgeable of wolves in sheep clothing. 

There's this preconception that a narcissist is a vane person who likes to look in the mirror a lot, and only loves him or herself. 

With that in mind I filmed today's video.

The diagnostic criteria for narcissism includes nine traits so it's more complex than "them loving themselves too much". Mental health professionals use the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a guide for diagnoses. I've talked more in detail before here if you are interested. 

Today I wanted to specifically share what it feels like to be in contact with a covert narcissist, and what signs you can look for in order to put theory into practice.  

If you are going to take anything from the video take this: honor how you feel during the interaction with these personalities. If you find yourself justifying their behavior a lot, you are probably dealing with a toxic person.