Accepting What Is

*cartoon: Sketches in Stillness.com

Forgiving a narcissist is a personal decision that won't excuse the abuser for his or her actions.

Whatever you decidede, it will be the right thing to do for you.

It's about you and it's your right to decide what's best for you.

This has nothing to do with the abuser.

It's about you feeling better.

The paradox is that when you reach this point where you no longer care for vengeance, this loss of interest in the abuser that forgiveness implies ends up being the ultimate revenge.

The ultimate triumph.

Why All That Drama?

In today's video I tell you how I view the drama that surrounds toxic people and why I think they create it.

In short:

1. That's how they get you to react.
2. When you react emotionally, they get Narcissistic Supply from you.
3. Schadenfreude: which means - believe it or not - taking joy in other peoples' suffering or misfortune.

I also explain the best ways to deal with it and a bit about no contact and co-parenting.

See you soon!

What's the Thinking Behind Setting Boundaries?

Setting boundaries is a life long process. In my case at least, the older I am, the better I get at honoring how I feel about other people's requests, needs and wants. One thing that comes with age is wisdom, and that compensates for all the other things that are usually not so well received.


What I know about boundaries is that:


1) It's not easy to set them at first. But it gets easier with practice. 

2) We go through a short lived uneasiness when we say NO

3) That uneasiness is so worth it. In exchange you get: a strong sense of self-love which boosts your self esteem.

4) If you do set them, you will find that people that don't respect your boundaries are not worth having around.

5) Those who don't respect your boundaries are usually the toxic bunch.

Find today's video here.