Co-Parenting & Narcissism

The last video of my interview with Balance Psychologies was shorter and sweet. And with way better sound!

We talked about co parenting with highly narcissistic people and what things we can do to improve our children's quality of life. What works best for kids and how to deal with problems that may come up when co parenting with these individuals.

"A narcissistic parent won't allow the child to have their own autonomy" - Anoushka Marcin

Anoushka shared very useful concepts that are always welcome if you are co parenting with difficult personalities. I hope you have enjoyed these series.

Some key concepts to keep in mind  when co parenting with a highly narcissistic person are:

     1) Strive to keep good boundaries with the ex. (Takes practice don't panic)

     2) Lead by example. If you are doing your own work with self care, therapy, being healthy; this will impact positively on your kids.

     3) Make sure the children feel heard and "seen", validated. Problems will come up but keep your center and focus on guidance with love.

     4) Try to avoid taking the bait when the narcissist uses your children to manipulate you. Instead focus on your behavior. That is what children ultimately see and learn. 

P.S. Find these videos with subtitles in Spanish here.

Teachers Advice For Parents

A few months back, in a school gathering, teachers greeted us parents with coffee, a croissant, and this beautiful note. 

When I read it I immediately felt content, and confident in that my kids were going to the right school. The note is in Spanish but I hope I will try to translate it as accurately as possible. It goes like this...

When Educating Our Children, All Exaggeration is Negative

Answer them, don't inform them.

Protect them, do not suffocate them.

Help them, do not do everything for them.

Love them, do not idolize them.

Walk by their side, don't carry them.

Show him the danger, don't frighten him.

Include them, don't cut them off.

Encourage them to dream big, don't discard their hopes and ideas.

Don't demand perfection, ask them to be good and show by example.

Don't lavish all your love to them, surround them with love.

Don't just say "go do your homework", provide a study environment.

Don't build a Castle for them, live naturally.

Don't tell her how or what they should be, be who you want them to be. 

Don't live for them, live with them.

Remember, your children don't listen to you, they observe you...

I thought I'd share this because as a parent I feel that I need these reminders from time to time. Do you? Thoughts? Comments? Let me know what you think. 


P.S. If you would like to read more about this particular subject. Read this article from The Guardian, it's a good one! 

Optimism Protects our Brain

As you may already know, I'm a Professional Counselor and this blog is not always about makeup, fashion and handbags. Although I really like those lovely topics, I also enjoy a psychological update from time to time.

Today I talk about optimism and how it ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy. It's a scientific fact that optimism is linked to less health problems and a longer life. If optimism is our ally why not introduce it into our daily lives. 

Here's how to do so.





P.S. Mindfulness