Every Discard Has a Silver Lining

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The Narcissistic Discard is cruel, callous and usually unexpected. Emotions like abandonment, and rejection keep us wondering what just happened. 

There's also a prevalent feeling of betrayal that is extremely difficult to shake off. Betrayal of a relationship agreement, the betrayal of trust but not just in the partner but in people. 

When it comes to narcissism, the gaslighting and manipulation that the target has already endured by the time the discard happens is so intense that in order to heal, victims will need a new paradigm, a world view change.

However painful, the lesson it teaches you is that the discard is also a blessing.

You are now free of abuse. You are free. And that is a rebirth. The start of a new, more peaceful, and fun (may I add) life.

Find more on this in today's video. English & Spanish

Devaluation: The Boiling Frog Syndrome

Like the unsuspecting frog who is progressively boiled to death, targets of covert narcissists can be oblivious of the devaluation that happens in the cycle of abuse.

Some examples of the devaluation phase include: back handed compliments, devaluing comments, gaslighting, cheating, telling half truths, and giving the silent treatment.

These behaviors are a sample of the discard phase and represent a window into the true self of the narcissist.

For more information please watch today's video! English & Spanish.

The Discard: The Ultimate Paradox.

The narcissistic discard is cold, ruthless, and unexpected. 

It's not only about the ending of a relationship, or about infidelity. It's a traumatic experience that is foreign to normal people. 

This is another story.

1) It's about being used, tricked, gaslighted, manipulated, devalued, compared to new supply, triangulated, ignored, minimized,  falsely accused, invalidated, subtly, covertly, and overtly, by the person you trusted.

2) All this while the narcissist is telling everyone else that he or she is the victim. 

Yup. Crazy stuff. Soap opera material.

However weird,  the discard has even one more layer of crazy. 

3) For this betrayal to happen to the person that cared the most about the welfare of the narcissist represents the ultimate paradox. 

The level of betrayal that a victim of narcissistic abuse is faced with is so different from what other people experience normally that regular terms and semantics end up being not enough. 

This is why victims of this type of abuse use terms such as love bombing, hoovering, gaslighting, flying monkeys, going grey rock, and word salad.

Whether you spent a lifetime in a relationship with a covert narcissist, or a few months with a malignant narcissist the discard is the event you may have struggled with the most. 

However, if you are being discarded right now let me explain why it's not about you and let me help you understand.

Please watch today's video here in English and here in Spanish.