Would you like to turn traumatic experiences that were awful, betraying, and unfair into a life with meaning, that is fun (yes!), and maybe even of service to others? To experience Post Traumatic Growth you will need:
Work on overcoming the traumatic situation you have been exposed to.
Find family or friends or a therapist that will have your back. And talk to them.
Feel emotions. Talk. Repeat.
Gather energy and strength from within you. Everyday. Like a worrier. Make that decision.
Resilience which is the capacity to bounce back from adversity.
With all the ingredients at hand decide to start making something that will bring meaning to your life and that will make you feel useful. It could be anything. You are now free to do whatever you think is fun, and inspiring. Warning: Don't go down the self-sacrifice route though. Do what brings you joy ( like Marie Kondo! why not) and put it to good use.
Although today's video gives a detailed description of what covert narcissism is and what a victim of this type of abuse endures, I felt like writing about a more inspiring side of narcissistic abuse which is: post traumatic growth.
Post Traumatic Growth is a positive psychological change experienced as a result of adversity and other challenges in order to rise to a higher level of functioning.These circumstances represent significant challenges to the adaptive resources of the individual, and pose significant challenges to their way of understanding the world and their place in it.Post traumatic growth involves "life-changing" psychological shifts in thinking and relating to the world, that contribute to a personal process of change, that is deeply meaningful.
Source: Wikipedia
I believe post traumatic growth is the light at the end of the tunnel for victims of narcissistic abuse and for victims of any type of abuse or tragedy. This is basically why I absolutely love what I do and being a counselor. I believe wholeheartedly that these things definitely happen in life, but we have a very hard and difficult choice to make. We have to decide whether this will destroy us or it will be the push we need to step it up and grow exponentially: emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Overcoming a tragedy, or abuse for that matter, is a devastating event. We feel lost, alone, empty, hopeless. For a while it's very hard to find our way. But with just enough help we are able to move past it and, believe it or not, understand that this was a disguised opportunity to evolve. You may not see it this way and you may be rolling your eyes as you read this right now. But I believe that if you work consistently to recover and heal you will agree with me soon enough. You can take my word for it. It comes a time when you talk about these issues and are able to smile and appreciate what a long way you've come.
