Future Faking Making promises that won't really happen in the end, in order to get what someone wants. The only goal in the case of a relationship with a narcissist is to keep you in the relationship for as long as they want. If you are being hoovered future faking will happen. These assurances are based on info gathered during the idealization phase and throughout the relationship. It's about promising exactly what you want, or what you have been wanting for a long time. Starting a family? A trip? A job? A loving wife? A loving husband? Respect ? Loyalty? You name it. Future faking is like a mirage. It looks nice but it's not real.
Hi! I hope you're having a stress free end of the week. I thought I'd tell you about my viewers on YouTube. They are really awesome and leave the most intelligent questions I could ever imagine. Really! Some of them know so much about this that I'm sometimes speechless after reading the comments and only one word comes to mind: "WOW". :D Anyhow... In today's video I answer some of the questions that came up in my last Hoovering video. Oh and regarding the question in the title of this blogpost, "How Can I Resist a Hoover", let me tell you this... You can definitely resist a hoover and here's how:
Having a good support system.Friends, family, groups of people that are supportive (for a change...)
Getting counseling? That'd help a lot because you'd begin to take your life back and realize how this person doesn't deserve an inch of your attention.
Engaging in self care, prioritizing YOU. More on that every Friday on my Instagram.
Hoovering is a term used to describe highly narcissistic people going back to old sources of supply. The victim is re idealized and love bombed in order to hook the person back into the cycle of abuse. Hoovering refers to the vacuum cleaner and is representative of how they suck you back in after no contact. I was asked this exact questions many times so I'm answering it in today's video: "Why do they come back after they discarded me?"
What is hoovering? It's when the narcissist tries to suck you back into the relationship or into being available for them to obtain narcissistic supply. It can happen in different ways. And it can look very different as well. Praise, flattery, a sudden crisis? Or maybe they are just criticizing you out of the blue. Whatever the excuse, it has only one goal. To engage you in the cycle of abuse yet again. What does it feel like to be hoovered by a narcissist or a psychopath? In today's video I compare it with a shark that is lurking an unaware happy go lucky swimmer. Oh, yes. It's weird.
